(photo of Caitlin @ fairy falls. post coming soon)
There is a lot of talk in the social media cobwebs about what it (social media) really is: a constructed display of perfection. And I've got to be honest and tell you that I found myself caught in a game of numbers. Posting just because. And nothing more than that. At some point I lost the drive and passion I once had for content creation. I never felt valued, valid, good enough. I never felt like I added to the world. And thats because I wasn't. I wasn't making a change. Instead I was churning out unoriginal content to stick to a schedule that didn't align with who I really am.
Life is what you make of it and I've not been making anything. I've just been plodding along. Rinse and repeat when in reality we are all so much better than that. After practically a month and a half off (or maybe half a year off from feeling inspired by the content I make) i feel more aligned and attuned to myself. More focused on what i want to add to the world rather than what I want to gain. I'm sitting here drinking tea outside in the dark of the night feeling a sense of ease even though life is anything but. Its a big complicated mess but its my mess and I'm ok with it.
As an update on where I am the song Lowlife by That Poppy is my current jam. I've been eating way too many sour patch kids. Not running fullstop. My grey roots are stronger than ever. I dressed up as a deer for halloween and DIDNT take outfit photos. And I'm going to join a gym. More than any of that today I'm chuffed. Well pleased. I'm ok. Because I've got this new sense of readiness. A new found feeling. And I'm going to take my life, live it and be fucking radical. Because I can. And because I choose too.
HAPPY NOVEMBER YOU CRAZY KIDS.
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